


he had the world

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They found his diary under his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	he had the world

They found his diary under his bed. It was mostly full of scribbles and messy, unreadable handwriting, probably from when the boy was having an anxiety attack.

But there were notes too. From many years ago.

**September 26th, 2002**  
Dear diary:  
 _I think I love him. He's beautiful and perfect and has the voice of an angel. I never thought I'd fall in love with a guy, you know? Even though I always knew I liked them._

_He's short, really short. He has the most beautiful eyes and the softest hair. He always hides it under a hat. His legs are nice too._

_His name's Patrick, and he's my bandmate. We're trying to make original stuff now. It's going well._

_I hope we get to something else sometime._

Then another page was marked as sometime in 2008, as the day and month were smudged. It had lyrics on them.

_He held the world upon a string_   
_But he didn't ever hold me_   
_Spun the stars on his fingernails_   
_But it never made him happy_   
_Cause he could never have me_   
_— she had the world, panic! at the disco_

**May 2003**   
_We released our first official album today! It's name is Take This To Your Grave. I like it. My favorite tracks probably Saturday. He sounds especially cute in that one._

_We decided it'll be our finishing track. You know, the one we always play last at concerts? We're getting a fanbase, the Overcast Kids. We're pretty excited for the future._

**2011**   
_I miss him i miss him i miss him i miss him he left me for elisa he left me for her we didnt even have nothing started yet_

**2007**   
_IOH topped the charts today. I'm proud._

**2005**   
_I attempted to kill myself today. I woke up at the hospital with a terrible headache and a feeling of sickness. I threw up twice, leaving my stomach without the pills and shit._   
_It was really bad. I don't know why I did it. I heard he had gone out with someone, I was at Best Buy and I just... flipped out._   
_I lied with that, though. Of course I did. I said I was tired and I did it out of impulse. Patrick seemed to believe me, Joe and Andy too._

**2006**   
_i love him_

**2012**  
 _I can't bear with this anymore_ [stains of blood there and here]  
 _I hope you find this soon_  
 _I love you, no matter what_  
 _I wasn't feeling well, bloods everywhere_  
 _Please forgive me_  
 _I love you so much, Trick_  
 _I always did, you know?_

**Author's Note:**

> i apologize so much


End file.
